Started talking to this guy via a mutual friend from Facebook. He told me he was divorced. We get to the restaurant, order our dinner and start drinking wine, where he proceeds to tell me that it’s a “War of the Roses” active divorce. He mentions that they separated 2 months prior and she filed. Said he had a mistress and it was made public and proceeded to excuse his infidelity by saying she gained weight after their daughter was born and didn’t make any attempts to loose it years later. Starts telling me about all the drama included with that, and the mistresses husband finding out, restraining orders, etc….then he shows me a PICTURE of his soon to be ex wife AND mistress on his phone!!! LOL! I’m sitting there, just downing my wine, hoping the food will come quick and we can just part our separate ways…LOL
Went out with my mom’s co-worker (he was a contracted employee who would come out to her work site every so often and always complimented the pic of me on her desk)… He suggested getting together at a local coffee shop, something simple. The man was already there when I arrived, but had been up to the counter and gotten his drink, and as I intro’d myself he said, “Hey are you going to get yourself coffee or what?” …so I bought my own damn house blend, and sat down to hear him talk about how he had just been to see his dad, and how hard it had been since moving out of his parents’ house (he was 28!!) then immediately BEGAN CRYING HEAVILY, and after about 10 minutes of trying to figure out whether I was being punk’d, I suggested that maybe we should take a walk — to the parking lot, so I could leave. He tried, last minute, to convince me to go home with him for “company” so I could see his LEOPARD PRINT bedspread and his REALISTIC SUIT OF ARMOR (oh, my goodness). I had to take a pass on that one. He began crying again, and shouted out loud at me, in the middle of the parking lot “WHYYYYY won’t you go home with MEEEE?” Holy crap. I got in the car, drove home, and called my mother— who laughed her butt off. She told me he kept asking about me for months afterward. Freaky.
My first and only blind date was set up by a girlfriend of mine. She told me the guy was a nice, (read: not good looking) upcoming, young business man. After some coercion on her part, I agreed to call him. We arranged to meet at a lovely restaurant and the date went very well. I was really enjoying our conversation and he was a true gentleman so I accepted his offer to drive me home. As we got to my front door I asked him in so we could continue our discussion. However, I made it perfectly clear that it was not an invitation for sex. He seemed hurt that I would suggest such a thing, so I felt o.k. letting him in. Long story short, I switched from drinking wine to beer. We all know what that can do to a girl’s bladder. On my third trip to the restroom he said I should just hold it. I mentioned that I had indoor plumbing and would only be gone a few minutes. That’s when he suggested we get in my shower and I pee on him. Needless to say, I was speechless for a minute, but advised him I wasn’t into that sort of play and “my, look at how late it is.” As soon as he left I called my “friend” and asked her what the hell? She said, “Oh, did he mention that on the first date?” The skank KNEW. Nice guy or not, I wasn’t about to date him a second time and I put some distance between me and my friend.
I once went hiking on a blind date. I repeat, hiking. We spent close to three hours hoofing it up the side of a mountain (half of which he spent making fun of my inability to keep up with him, the expert hiker). Once we reached the top he went in for the kiss which by that point I had no interest in. After dodging it and being polite about declining he proceeded to tell me how insecure I was and how I was afraid of commitment. What a keeper. Needless to say, after a silent car ride home I gladly never saw or contacted him again. The e-mail the next day from him with a grim, “I don’t think we really hit it off” was definitely a fun read, too.
I had one date where awkward silence happened as soon as we sat down. Then it was, ”What are you looking for?” ”How many internet dates have you had?” ”Do you want kids?” ”What is your first impression of me?” All within 20 seconds of meeting. As soon as I got a word in I said ”I have just come for a coffee with you, how about we relax and see where we go?” But the questions kept coming book style so I went to the bathroom, got my friend to ring me, 5 mins later made my excuses and left.
Recently I met up with a girl from POF (Plenty Of Fish). We had decent email communications and one phone conversation before getting together one afternoon for lunch.
At lunch, again, conversation felt as if it flowed naturally. I was doing most of the talking, but she held her end of a talking point pretty effortlessly. Fast forward to the end of our meet and as we were saying our goodbyes there was a small moment of silence, at which point she verbally expressed her discomfort of it. I simply smiled.
She asked me what that smile meant and I remember thinking to myself that it doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes a smile is just a smile. Anyway, we had a short phone conversation last night, and again another silence comes up, and again she verbally calls out her “discomfort” of it. Makes me curious…
Does anyone here, when interacting socially with a new person, find an awkward discomfort in a conversational break? Personally speaking, I find that in such situations I sometimes sit back and see where it takes us. I also like to see if the girl I’m with can pick up the ball and get back in the game.
Anyway, I think most people think there is a type of negativity involved in those little moments of tranquility…as if it screams “OH NO, I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, I MUST BE UNINTERESTING!”
I’d like to hear other’s thoughts on this.
We met on another website. Talked for a few weeks and went out (it was the least amount of time I had spent talking to someone before meeting them). He picks me up at like 10 or 11pm after work on a Friday. Appearance wise he wasn’t what I was expecting at all. We get in the car, and (he was a fireman) we drove to his fire station. It was near by and he went there to change out of his work uniform. OK. Picture it… I don’t know this guy very well…I am in his car… He drives me kinda outside of town to a big metal building with bad lighting and parks in the shadows on the side. I am thinking “ok, where is my grave already dug at?”… It was awkward and uncomfortable. He gets back into the car (I waited in it) and we drive to Pittsburgh (45min drive) to go to Dave & Busters. The whole drive is in complete silence. We get there, and I am not allowed in. No one under 21 admitted after 10 o’clock and I had just turned 19. I could be admitted with someone over 21, but he didn’t have his ID on him. Another 45 minutes back home in complete silence.
Oh! And at one point he was all driving and staring at me and it was freaky and like “dude! quit staring at me and watch where you’re driving!”
I can remember a “date from hell” awhile back where there was this pause in the conversation as we were driving where neither person had anything to say. So I’m just sitting there quietly driving along and she’s like: “Boy you sure are quiet. Not like in the emails.”
Hey, sometimes I don’t have anything to say. When I write emails it’s because I have something to talk about. Anyway, that AWKWARD little moment lasted a few minutes and pretty much guaranteed the unsuccessful end of that date.
Anybody else run into this situation?
Sometimes I find that I’m all talked out after weeks and weeks of emails. By the time I meet the girl (in person) there’s nothing left to talk about?
Mine was a few years ago, I went out with this guy who I’d met on another dating site. He turned up looking almost nothing like his pics, a few similar traits, but I thought I’d bite the bullet and see if he had anything to offer. He picked me up a road or two over from where I lived at the time. I got in the car and we drove into the next town. The journey there was weird because there was no music/radio on in the car (he couldn’t concentrate). There was no talking (I tried but he was concentrating on driving), so I sat there very bored while he did this Quasimodo impression, hunched right up over the top of the wheel – and he wasn’t even that tall to warrant doing that.
In the end we went into a pub, I had one drink (Diet Coke if I remember correctly) and kept my exit in mind. We talked for a bit, although there were long uncomfortable silences and he didn’t really initiate conversation whatsoever….and in the end I faked an excuse about having to get home to do coursework (this was back in the days I was at college).
On the way back to the car he grabbed at my hand – I politely pulled away and suggested he not try it again. Again, no talking on the way back as concentration on the road was paramount! He dropped me off in the same place he’d picked me up. I politely said my goodbyes and I got the hell out of there! Never spoke to him again!