Category: Bad Kiss

Too Much Saliva

One guy I went out with (twice, shame on me) had so much slobber that when he pulled away from me (I may have been pushing, lol) there was a string of thick saliva strung between our faces like a Christmas tree garland. Trying to be gracious, I just pulled back enough to break it and pretended like it didn’t happen. The next kiss was the same, but he didn’t seem to know it was a problem. How can you not know that? That’s the part I don’t get, is how can some people be such awful kissers and not know it. Now, I am not too fussy about such things; I even let me dog kiss me. Sometimes when we’ve been playing and he’s excited, he accidentally bites my lip a little bit, but I’d still keep the dog kisses and say goodbye to Saliva Man. Eeeeewwwwwwwww!

shinyhappyperson

3 Red Flags & The Pecker

So I’m new here.. Been lurking for a little while. Little background on me…

I’m recently out of an 11-month relationship. Why? If it’s any indicator, in the last 6 months we had sex once. We weren’t right for each other, and moved way too quickly in the beginning (moved in after about 6 weeks…). I never really had the chance to tell if he was the right person for me. There were some other issues, I got sick, and he pretty much blamed me. He didn’t really care about what I was going through, he just worried about how it was going to affect him. Anyway, that’s a long, boring story, and not worth it. I’m over it. Enough said.

So being newly on the market, one of my coworkers sets me up with a guy. We talk a little bit, and while the conversations are pretty decent, there are some red flags. We have fundamentally different beliefs politically, and as far as gender-roles go… He likes his women barefoot and in the kitchen, wants them to cook and do his laundry. I’m the bread-winner type.. I have a fantastic job, and do very well on my own. I’m smart, successful, driven, and independent.

First red flag… Before we had even gone out on our first date, he asked me to move in with him. More than once. What?!? No way dude.

Second red flag.. He later flips out over me wanting to drive myself to our first date. What, I don’t trust him enough to pick me up? I told him to stop pushing me and he let it go, but man was he mad about that.

Third red flag.. On the day we are supposed to go on our date, we were talking about furniture. When we discuss mattresses, he makes the comment that we’ll probably ‘be spending the night at each other’s place soon and regularly.

Ummm… That freaked me out, and I told him that was a bit presumptuous, and much too forward. His defense was, we are both adults, and we’re talking, which leads to dating, which leads to a relationship.. And that is was just a thought. Whatever. I told him I know how the process works, but that level of assumption is uncalled for.

I should have cancelled the date at that point, because he’s starting to freak me out. But I’m an idiot, and I try to be a nice person. I wanted to give him a shot.

We go out and the conversation was.. okay. There was nooooo chemistry on my part. He’s pushing my limits with the conversation, and I’m pretty much ready to go. He walks me to my car, and we hug. Then he goes in for the kiss.

And that was wayyyy too much wayyyy too fast. First he pecks, a lot, like a dozen times. I’m definitely not feeling it. I start pulling away and try getting into my car, and he pulls me into him and grabs my ass and pushes his tongue into my mouth. Oh, it was awful. Just awful.

I finally tear myself away and speed off. Now he’s calling, and he wants to go out tonight (dinner and a movie). I absolutely do NOT want to go out with this guy again. I wish I hadn’t gone out the first time at all!!

I KNOW all men aren’t like this.. But WTF kind of girl does he think I am??? I am thoroughly repulsed and pretty freaked out. Thankfully he does not know where I live.

adelinne