Category: Fashion Felony

The Vest

I had a first date with this guy. I myself, showered, blow dried my hair, make-up, high heels, nice, clean pressed dress – very smart. Met my date in a pub. He was wearing dirty old jeans – scruffy black boots and wait for it – A VEST! (with his dinner dribbled down the front of it) I left very quickly. He e-mailed me later and said he didn’t understand how I knew we were not suitable?

Worst Clothes 1st Date Clothes

Worst clothes to wear on a first date…

1: Nascar jacket….apologies to Nascar fans but wow….
2: White socks with dress shoes
3: Shirt or hat you got “free” when you bought a 15 pack of beer (maybe ok when you’re 18, but not in my age group)!
3 1/2: Shirts with the Simpsons depicted on them…always makes me scratch my head in wonder when I see an adult wearing something like that, outside of maybe working in their garage….?
4: Anything with holes or food stains….throw it out!

I don’t think I’m all that picky about how somebody’s dressed…check yourself in the mirror before you leave for your date and let common sense prevail!

 

Minnie Mouse Suspenders

I chatted with a woman online a few years back. She had no picture but a great profile & essay. Her emails were so elegant & poetic & always ended with the phrase “take a chance”. I was intrigued & so I did.

Well Walt Disney’s biggest fan showed up. Micky Mouse light up sneakers, Goofy jacket, Donald Duck baseball cap, light up Minnie Mouse suspenders & a Pluto sweatshirt. She told me she was great at telling jokes too & had a long list of them printed out.

I sensed she had a few screws loose but politely stayed & chatted over lunch & told her I didn’t feel any chemistry before leaving. Thankfully she was accepting of it. I don’t meet women sight unseen anymore because of this.

The Worst Toupee

I just have to tell my bad date story…

I had been talking to this lawyer that lived about 3 hours away from me…

Saw his photo and he was very nice looking…we talked nightly and had some good conversations…

One day he called and said that he had to go thru my town going to take a deposition in a town a couple of hours away. He suggested that he come down as far as my town and we meet, go out, and then I could go with him the next day and then he would reverse the route.

When I opened the door to the motel this is what I saw.

A very large man with the worst toupee on that I had ever seen. He was wearing silk basketball shorts, a white long sleeved starched shirt, socks with colored stripes at the top pulled up to his knees and black dress shoes.

Now I think of myself a decent person and will be nice to everyone. I was nice and we went across the street to eat dinner… all thru dinner I was trying to think of an excuse not to go with him the next day. He looked at me and said “what’s the matter, you look like you have a bad headache” ding!!! I responded that I did and needed to go home…

After tossing all night, I finally got the nerve to call him at the motel and when I did the desk clerk told me that he had checked out about an hour earlier…

Bless his heart, I guess this wasn’t the first time he had been dumped!

Toe’s Poking Out

After discussing with a date where to go, we decide to go to dinner as our first meet. It was a very nice casual dinning place, dress casual would be the appropriate attire. I explained this to my date over the phone where he helps me decide to wear a nice casual dress. I assumed he knew that he should be dressing similar.

So there I am in my dress, pantyhose, and low wedge closed toe shoes, answering the door when my date arrives… He’s dressed baggy, knee length shorts, an over sized t-shirt, a ball cap, worn out sneakers with his toes poking out, and unwashed LONG hair from the looks of it. Never mind all that though. The worse thing he wore was the invisible stamp of liar when he’s said his pic on POF (Plenty Of Fish) is recent, when it’s in fact not, as his hair is very SHORT in the pic (it takes a few years to grow from hair cut extremely short to extremely long) and doesn’t look anything at all like his pic!!!!

-Vosche