Category: He Said What?

Got Us Both Arrested

Well, I met the most amazing man off one of those dating sites. Well what I thought was the most amazing man anyways, we went to the movies, dinner then he took me to the lake to watch the stars. Doesn’t it sound soooo romantic?? Lol, try again he paid for the movie then wanted to take me to this little Italian place that was very nice and expensive and expected me to pay!!! Said the woman should pitch in! I was so horrified I didn’t even have my wallet! They called the cops and told them we refused to pay! He put up a fight with the cops and got us both arrested! That was the worst date ever. I never called or go on anymore dating sites again!!!

Babysitter For Hire

I had a first date with a guy that brought his two kids along. It showed me how he was so desperately seeking financial help, and he was. The kids were asking me for money (first date at Austin’s Park and Pizza–not at all romantic, I know). And he wasn’t man enough to tell them not to be asking me for money. And to top it off, he wanted me to babysit for him! So glad I knew where it was headed and I didn’t waste my time. That’s the good thing about being older and not desperate.

Let’s Watch A Sunset!

Well, I have a worst pre-dating experience to add to this — one that just happened today. I had been talking with this man who contacted me, he was 3 years younger than me. After a couple of emails back and forth, we progressed to chatting on the phone. He seemed nice enough…and we agreed to touch base later in the week as to where we were going to meet. He was so set on meeting in an area near the Marina Del Rey, he wanted to try out this one restaurant, and insisted we go there. He said that if we couldn’t, then we could meet in Santa Monica, as he wanted to watch the sun set — he hadn’t been able to do much of that. It was always what he wanted to do.

He only suggested possibly meeting in Marina Del Rey after I stopped responding to his texts. To me, when someone is so insistent on meeting in an area, or offers up ideas, and is unwilling to listen to what you might have to suggest, that’s a red flag. It shows that they have no respect for you as a person, nor for your ideas/opinions/feelings.

Anyhow, after thinking about this, I just was not into meeting him any longer…I told him in a text (We were texting back and forth, discussing where to meet, or rather, he was telling me where he wanted to meet) that I didn’t feel comfortable with how things went when discussing where to meet, and that I’d have to decline meeting. I told him it was nice getting to know him. He then sent 5-6 texts basically saying things of a derogatory nature regarding my age, “Your as old as ‘f—‘, I was going to cancel anyway — I was just trying to see if you would budge — your only a couple years away from 40 — you better learn to give a little”.

Some people just can’t take rejection. Notice I misused “your” when I should have used “you’re”. That’s exactly how he phrased those texts. I wasn’t upset about it — his texts made me laugh. He’s only 3 years younger, he’s calling himself old. It’s no mystery why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He has no clue how to treat women.

Skeletons in the Closet

We had been talking for a few days before and he seemed okay at the time, a little dorky, but whatever. At the actual date, he proceeded to tell me his entire life story with every skeleton in his family’s closet. Going on and on about his sister going through rehab, family issues rising from his father being a truck driver, his brother knocking up his girlfriend and dropping out of college, and it just kept going and going… Wayyyy too much information that I don’t want to be hearing from anyone, especially meeting them for the first time. I practically ran away from him at the end of the date. Didn’t give him a hug or anything.

Leopard Print Bedspread

Went out with my mom’s co-worker (he was a contracted employee who would come out to her work site every so often and always complimented the pic of me on her desk)… He suggested getting together at a local coffee shop, something simple. The man was already there when I arrived, but had been up to the counter and gotten his drink, and as I intro’d myself he said, “Hey are you going to get yourself coffee or what?” …so I bought my own damn house blend, and sat down to hear him talk about how he had just been to see his dad, and how hard it had been since moving out of his parents’ house (he was 28!!) then immediately BEGAN CRYING HEAVILY, and after about 10 minutes of trying to figure out whether I was being punk’d, I suggested that maybe we should take a walk — to the parking lot, so I could leave. He tried, last minute, to convince me to go home with him for “company” so I could see his LEOPARD PRINT bedspread and his REALISTIC SUIT OF ARMOR (oh, my goodness). I had to take a pass on that one. He began crying again, and shouted out loud at me, in the middle of the parking lot “WHYYYYY won’t you go home with MEEEE?” Holy crap. I got in the car, drove home, and called my mother— who laughed her butt off. She told me he kept asking about me for months afterward. Freaky.

Earth Mama

My girlfriend reluctantly set me up with a blind date. Her friend had seen a picture of me and really wanted to meet me. She didn’t think he was my type, but I told her I’d give it a try. My date had long scraggly hair and beard, and wore dirty ‘hippie’ clothes. He took one look at me and said I was his earth mama, he wanted to get married, have babies with me and live off the land. (He was serious). Halfway through lunch, I went to the bathroom, managed to get to the cashier without him seeing me, paid for my share of the lunch and left as fast as I could.


Golden Shower

My first and only blind date was set up by a girlfriend of mine. She told me the guy was a nice, (read: not good looking) upcoming, young business man. After some coercion on her part, I agreed to call him. We arranged to meet at a lovely restaurant and the date went very well. I was really enjoying our conversation and he was a true gentleman so I accepted his offer to drive me home. As we got to my front door I asked him in so we could continue our discussion. However, I made it perfectly clear that it was not an invitation for sex. He seemed hurt that I would suggest such a thing, so I felt o.k. letting him in. Long story short, I switched from drinking wine to beer. We all know what that can do to a girl’s bladder. On my third trip to the restroom he said I should just hold it. I mentioned that I had indoor plumbing and would only be gone a few minutes. That’s when he suggested we get in my shower and I pee on him. Needless to say, I was speechless for a minute, but advised him I wasn’t into that sort of play and “my, look at how late it is.” As soon as he left I called my “friend” and asked her what the hell? She said, “Oh, did he mention that on the first date?” The skank KNEW. Nice guy or not, I wasn’t about to date him a second time and I put some distance between me and my friend.


Herpes can only spread…

Actual statements from a 1st dates…

“Guess you’re meaty enough you’re t*tts could be real”

“Let’s walk into the bar separate, single girls drink free…meet you at the bar!”

“Let’s get a 6-pack before dinner so we won’t have to pay for so much liquor…Should I pick up condoms while I’m in there?”

“She’s not really like a wife-wife…”

“Herpes can only be spread when my sores are open and I don’t have any right now.”



Worst date I went on from pof (Plenty Of Fish) was with a guy who looked nothing like his profile (as in, he used a really hot guy’s pics and he was, let’s just say less than hot). We met at Starbucks for coffee. When I showed up he had the audacity to then tell me that he was very “impressed” with how I look and that he was actually expecting some “fat pig” to show up because in my profile I say I am a few extra pounds and that I actually look better in real life. In my mind all I could think was “ummm wish I could say the same about you buddy.” Not that I am shallow, I just think people should be honest and realistic about how they look in their profile. Anyways I just politely drank my latte and engaged in courteous conversation (mostly listening to him complain about his mother) for about 15 minutes.

Then I tried to cut the date short and said I have to go now. He kept suggesting we go to the beach for a walk or maybe window shopping in the mall and can “buy me something.” I said no thanks. Seriously, this guy would NOT take no for an answer. So I got up while he was still talking and walked to my car and he followed me, then grabbed my arm and tried to pull me into his van (yes, it was a van, with tinted windows and everything, how cliche I know). This resulted in quite the physical struggle in the parking lot, him yelling that I was a “wicked b*tch” (wtf?) and a bunch of other profanities. A little old lady literally had to intervene and beat him off me with her purse and this gathered a larger crowd of people who gawked and took videos with their cell phones. Then he drove away like a maniac, squishing a garden on the sidewalk in the path of his wrath.

The experience made me not want to date ever again, but luckily no one else has ever been that close to psycho-van-driving-mother-hating-guy. I take pepper spray with me now… just in case.