Category: Let’s Go Dutch

What To Do When There Is No Spark

I am having some ethical dilemmas here. And I don’t know if I should be… I recently went out with a guy for our first date. He picked a really nice (and expensive) steak house. He offered to pay. All was fine. We had four or five phone conversations and we got along fine.

Then we met for our first date and BLAM! Within the first minute, I was 100% sure there was no spark. Instead of backing out, cause this restaurant was his favorite and he mentioned he was happy to just get out of the house, I went through with the date. I had a good time. He was funny and nice. And I felt like I should have paid for my half because there was no connection.

Is this something guys would appreciate women doing…if we are not into you, we offer to pay for our half of the meal? I’m pretty old fashioned, and if I liked the guy, his paying for the first date is nice. But, I felt really bad cause I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

Don’t slam me…I’m just trying to find the higher ground here. What do you guys think?

-Cute_chica

Dutch Gave Us An Out

Had my 1st date with a POF-er (Plenty Of Fish) this last Saturday. We met for drinks in a small, nearly empty little Inn. When I arrived he had a couple of shots set up on the bar for us (this was a previously made deal/bet). We did our shots, and then I proceeded to pay for my own drink. A while later in the evening, I bought shots for us (we both continued buying our own “main” drinks), and then a bit later he took his turn.

While we had been chatting before the date, we both had mentioned that we didn’t have a whole lot of cash, but wanted to take some time to get to know one another. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with his buying my drinks knowing he was almost as destitute as I that evening, and had he expected me to pay, it would have set off all kinds of alarms about “users” (which, unfortunately I have plenty of experience with).

We pretty much came out even at the end of the date, and had a wonderful time talking with no awkward pauses whatsoever. I felt that going dutch basically left us both an out, and also cost us nearly the same amount. We are to meet again this evening, but since neither of us has had a payday since the last date, we’ve decided to meet in a cool park where we can hike around, start a campfire and talk. I believe that Diet Pepsi is on the menu for tonight! (Can’t wait, Kev!)

Blessed be…

-IWontTellYou