Category: Uncategorized

He’s a Spanker

My story starts well enough had just put up my first profile post divorce and to my surprise had many replies. One stood out right: age range, common interests, good banter on line, and by phone…he invited me to a lovely restaurant for dinner…with the excitement of a school girl I got ready for my first date…

Arrived at the meet and got a seat at the bar … he called and said he was running late would be there shortly… an hour later he showed up 3 sheets to the wind… (I know should have jumped ship but was still somewhat naive) we got a table and ordered after spending half the date on his cell and going outside to smoke (a fact omitted in his profile) he leaned across the table and while staring deeply into my eyes whispered I want to take you home and spank you.. Taken aback not having dated since my 20’s and never having run across a “spanker” before my arm shot up and I screamed check please… LOL He was not all bad. He quickly said, oh no, my treat!

Pinching A Loaf

I was on my way to a meet with a guy from a (dating) site, a few years ago. He claimed he looked exactly like Charlie Sheen. He didn’t. But I went to meet him even though he was a bit delusional as far as his looks were concerned.  As I was driving, we were talking on the phone, as I was unsure of the exact location of the bar and I don’t normally drive into the city. I could hear him repeatedly straining as he was talking. I asked, “Is everything OK?” He said he was a fine, but did I mind if he made a bowel movement?  I turned my car around and went home. I never spoke to him again.