Tag: bar

Breast Feeding

Went on a first date with a woman from POF (Plenty of Fish), about two years ago. Drove an hour and a half to meet her. We had talked via email, phone calls, texts for about two weeks before we decided to meet, and actually talked the morning of our first meeting, and confirmed our date, which gave her ample time to set me up for what I was in store for.

So I get to the restaurant, which wasn’t five stars, but wasn’t a dive either. Nice place for a first date, I had made reservations for two. I got there a little early, so was at the bar waiting for her to show up. So she shows up in tow with her two young daughters, a 3 yr old and an 16 month old, so there went the table for two, had to wait an hour to get another table that could accommodate two high chairs. And that isn’t even the best part, half way through dinner, she proceeds to start breast feeding the youngest right there in front of me at the table. Not that that big deal, nor did I really care, the only thing that got me is she wasn’t planning on getting a sitter, she could of told me and I would have picked a more appropriate place to meet. Oh well, live and learn.

Three Flights Of Stairs

I meet this woman and we go out for a few drinks and a local concert. All is well and good so we go to a bar afterwards, and me not being much of a drinker and the driver held off while she pounded them down like a champ. This is where it starts getting bad… She manages to get herself so drunk that she passes out in my truck. I take her home, carry her up three flights of stairs, put her in bed and put the garbage can next to her bed in case she has to throw up during the night. Believing that leaving her alone would be a bad idea I laid down on the floor and went to sleep. The next morning I was woken up by a kick in the side, accusations of taking advantage of her, and a visit to the police station. Thankfully her neighbors saw me carrying her up the stairs the previous night and told the cops I was doing nothing more than escorting a drunk back to her apartment.

Drive By 1st Date

I almost had a drive by once. My date insisted that I wait outside the place for her. When I arrived early, I called her to say I was going to be at the bar and she got almost hysterical saying that I must wait outside as she didn’t want to go in alone. I thought it odd but ok. Anyway… So eventually her car drives up. She stops right in front of me, looks me up and down and then decides to park the car. She made it so obvious but I just thought it was terribly funny…

Herpes can only spread…

Actual statements from a 1st dates…

“Guess you’re meaty enough you’re t*tts could be real”

“Let’s walk into the bar separate, single girls drink free…meet you at the bar!”

“Let’s get a 6-pack before dinner so we won’t have to pay for so much liquor…Should I pick up condoms while I’m in there?”

“She’s not really like a wife-wife…”

“Herpes can only be spread when my sores are open and I don’t have any right now.”


He’s a Spanker

My story starts well enough had just put up my first profile post divorce and to my surprise had many replies. One stood out right: age range, common interests, good banter on line, and by phone…he invited me to a lovely restaurant for dinner…with the excitement of a school girl I got ready for my first date…

Arrived at the meet and got a seat at the bar … he called and said he was running late would be there shortly… an hour later he showed up 3 sheets to the wind… (I know should have jumped ship but was still somewhat naive) we got a table and ordered after spending half the date on his cell and going outside to smoke (a fact omitted in his profile) he leaned across the table and while staring deeply into my eyes whispered I want to take you home and spank you.. Taken aback not having dated since my 20’s and never having run across a “spanker” before my arm shot up and I screamed check please… LOL He was not all bad. He quickly said, oh no, my treat!

Pinching A Loaf

I was on my way to a meet with a guy from a (dating) site, a few years ago. He claimed he looked exactly like Charlie Sheen. He didn’t. But I went to meet him even though he was a bit delusional as far as his looks were concerned.  As I was driving, we were talking on the phone, as I was unsure of the exact location of the bar and I don’t normally drive into the city. I could hear him repeatedly straining as he was talking. I asked, “Is everything OK?” He said he was a fine, but did I mind if he made a bowel movement?  I turned my car around and went home. I never spoke to him again.

It Was Self Defense

We met at a bar, he was supposed to be 5ft9 but was more like 5ft2, which was a little disappointing… Anyway, after about 15 minutes into the date, he tells me a story of how he stabbed a few people in a scared rage about ten years ago, (apparently it was either do or die). Then as we were on our way to the next bar, (my train wasn’t for another hour) it started raining real bad and he lent me his cagoule he had in his bag. It smelt fusty like it had been hiding in a shed for ten years and I about puked. Totally ruined my look as I was in a pretty dress and high heels but he did insist…(I was hoping it was a stab proof cagoule at this point). Anyway he walked me to the train station and asked me if any guy had ever told me I had a big nose and started laughing. I said no, got on the train pronto and breathed a huge sigh of relief!! It’s not your typical funny date, but it was so surreal I had to laugh…


Movie Mayhem

I had a guy I met from online after quite a long time talking to him over weeks and weeks. I agreed to meet him for a bite to eat. Things went well. Then he said would you go to a movie, I would like to spend more time with you. So, I went. He asked what I wanted to see, every time I picked one he didn’t like it. Then he picked the only movie no one has ever heard of. We went to the bar area to wait, within ten minutes he stood up, pulled out my ticket laid it on the counter and said I will be right back, 30 minutes then 45 went by and he did not come back. I walked outside and he was in his car on his cell phone!! He had been watching for me, jumped out of his car and started running over. Immediately I began to cry, turned around and ran inside, trying to get someone to come get me. It was humiliating!! Of course, he apologized tons but it was rude and too late!!


Mr. Wig

I met a man years ago online. We seemed to hit it off quite well and decided to meet. He had only one picture posted which was rather dark and blurred. We got together on a night a band was playing. It was pretty dark in the bar at the time he arrived. I had no idea he was completely bald and wore a wig. The wig was atrocious. We were seated at a table with a huge fan overhead. Every time the blades spun around his entire wig did a full salute. I was a bit mortified. I don’t care if a man has a full head of hair or is bald but would have appreciated a heads up on the wig situation.

“I’ll let you make me dinner”

I had a first date that was with a local guy. He suggested a bar in town and come to find out it was his favorite hangout. He had friends there who knew he was on a first date with me and I felt like they were there sizing me up. One even came up to me and said “if it doesn’t with him, I’d like to take you out”. The entire conversation revolved around him. He went on and on about his ex wife and what a horrible person she was….oh please! I went outside for a cigarette and he came to join me (I was actually considering using that cigarette as a sneak away from the date). While we were outside, he started making plans for our second date. His idea was that I would come over to his place and, I quote “I’ll let you make me dinner”. It was at that point that I finally told him there would be no second date, this date was over and if he was looking for someone to cook for him, maybe he should put a want ad on craigslist for a personal chef. End of date!