Tag: contact lens

Put It On His Tongue

It wasn’t a POF (Plenty Of Fish) date but it was my first date after breaking up with my fiance. Had only met him once, briefly. He was OK but I didn’t think there were any sparks. A mutual friend of ours insisted we should go out.

So we went to this nice quiet restaurant and I was really trying to get into him … had been broken up with my ex for nearly a year and was thinking the problem was me, that I compared everyone to my ex, etc. And he seemed like he was pretty into me. I was thinking maybe, yeah, maybe there could be something there …

But then he kept rolling and picking at his eyes. He said his contact lenses were dried out. One of my quirks is that I’m extremely squeamish and one of the body parts I’m MOST squeamish about are eyes. And he looked like a weirdo rolling his eyes and picking at them. But I told myself I was being too judgmental.

Then he dug one finger into his left eye and started moving the contact lens around on it. I’m thinking, “Even if I didn’t have a thing about eyes, this would probably qualify as a really uncouth thing to do at the dinner table.” I’m also thinking “If he doesn’t stop this and/or I don’t stop watching, I’m going to faint.” Because I faint easily when things freak me out.

Before I could resolve this conflict, he pulled/dragged/dug the contact lens out of his eye, put it on his tongue … and then started to put it back in his very bloodshot eye. This was apparently too much for me. I fell out of my chair in a dead faint.

Alarmed by the sight of me twitching unconscious on the floor, he apparently dropped and managed to lose his contact lens.

We never saw each other again. He told our mutual friend that he couldn’t imagine dating someone who fainted so easily.

WIN!