Tag: diarrhea

Hazelnut Creamer

It sure wasn’t funny at the time, but I had a first meet with a man I’d been chatting with and we decided he’d bring us coffee and we’d go to the park and talk. Well, I don’t drink coffee very often… like once every 5 or 10 yrs. And it has to have hazelnut creamer in it. So, he was kind enough to bring me a large coffee with hazelnut creamer. We were drinking our coffee and chatting at a picnic table about 100 yards from the public restroom when I felt that dreaded rumbling in my stomach. I’m thinking, “Oh, God, please not now!!!” Then the cramps hit and I started sweating and he asked if I was okay. I asked him if he would help me to the restroom since at the time I was having difficulty walking any distance due to a medical condition I have and he took my arm and quickly walked me to the facilities. I ended up staying in there for at least a half hour, moaning loudly and having every thing in my intestinal tract exploding out from both ends. I don’t remember ever being so violently ill so suddenly and he’s knocking on the door asking if I’m okay as I’m moaning and puking my guts out. When I finally was able to emerge, soaking wet from sweat and washing my face, a lovely shade of pale green, he asked if I’d like to go home. I said I thought that would be a very good idea. We have remained friends ever since but that sure ended any romantic thoughts that might have occurred.

I haven’t drank coffee since!!!


Credit Card Decline

My worst ever was quite awhile ago, We went to an extremely expensive place – his idea, not mine – and while he was in the restroom, the waiter came back and told me that his credit card had been declined. I quickly took mine out and asked him to use it and not to embarrass my date, to run my credit card discreetly. I thought I had gotten away with it until the maitre’ de approached me on the way out the door and thanked me for covering the bill AND the tip. Apparently the waiter had told him all about it and this guy couldn’t wait to embarrass my date. Pretty funny BUT very expensive. Believe it or not, I agreed to go dancing with him later that night. I had to pay for that, too. Live and learn.