Tag: expensive bill

In The Closet?

On a first date…talking about everything from A to Z. Arts, symphony, opera, world events, cooking, our jobs, etc.

I happen to mention in passing that the one thing I never knew about was high thread count sheets, but once I slept on them, I would never sleep on anything else…

She looks at me and says “Are you sure you’re not gay?” and me being quick witted said: “Actually, yes, I am, you got me. I’m just a lesbian trapped in a man’s body and you aren’t going to do it for me, honey, because I’m not into bull dykes”. Then I got up and left. Oh, the look on her face.

Roses from Florist $35
Dinner at Restaurant $85
Look on her face after I put her in her place? Priceless…

I’m me…period…I don’t fit in a neat cubbyhole. And all my friends that are gay know for sure I’m not, so if their “gaydar” ain’t going off, why she would ask me that question I haven’t got a clue. I mean, I was on a date with a woman so where the hell did that question come from?

A Steak Dinner To Remember

Met a woman online and we got along great. Flowing conversation, both athletic, similar interests. Everything seemed on the up-and-up. Our first date was walking dogs in the park near her home.

She stated “she hadn’t had a nice steak dinner in YEARS…” so I jumped on the opportunity. We resided about 20 miles apart, so we agreed to rendezvous about halfway for each of us. This date ultimately suggested Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse which is pretty darn (gulp) expensive spot.

This woman ordered wine, appetizers, main course, dessert, the whole deal. She was engaging, smart, sweet, and had a truly electric personality. Wow, what a conversationalist. I got the bill (nearly $225.00) and she didn’t even motion going towards her wallet. Plunked down my credit card and took my lumps. Hey, that’s the price of romance, right?

As we were preparing to depart, a waiter comes running up to us and says to her: “…Hey, remember me? I am Alex. I was your server last week!…”

She became flustered and muttered something like:
“Umm, sorry, I don’t know you.”

Alex then replied:
“It’s me, remember? You ordered Filet Mignon butterflied with extra butter and pepper?”

He had her totally dead-to-rights and she was clearly busted. We walked outside and she said to me, “Does this mean we won’t see each other again?” I glared at her and huffed, “Is scamming expensive meals worth THIS much effort in your life?”

Now that I think of it, that guy “Alex” might have been trying to do me a favor, after all.