Tag: great conversation

Golden Shower

My first and only blind date was set up by a girlfriend of mine. She told me the guy was a nice, (read: not good looking) upcoming, young business man. After some coercion on her part, I agreed to call him. We arranged to meet at a lovely restaurant and the date went very well. I was really enjoying our conversation and he was a true gentleman so I accepted his offer to drive me home. As we got to my front door I asked him in so we could continue our discussion. However, I made it perfectly clear that it was not an invitation for sex. He seemed hurt that I would suggest such a thing, so I felt o.k. letting him in. Long story short, I switched from drinking wine to beer. We all know what that can do to a girl’s bladder. On my third trip to the restroom he said I should just hold it. I mentioned that I had indoor plumbing and would only be gone a few minutes. That’s when he suggested we get in my shower and I pee on him. Needless to say, I was speechless for a minute, but advised him I wasn’t into that sort of play and “my, look at how late it is.” As soon as he left I called my “friend” and asked her what the hell? She said, “Oh, did he mention that on the first date?” The skank KNEW. Nice guy or not, I wasn’t about to date him a second time and I put some distance between me and my friend.

-Tee

Terror on the Terrace

Met a woman online, emailed and chatted on the phone, set up a dinner date. We met, sat out on the terrace and had a great dinner and conversation. As we finished coffee the waiter came and took the check. As he left, she smiled and leaned over the table and said “my place or yours?” I was kinda like a deer in the headlights. Stupidly I said “Gee I thought we’d get to know each other better before we got to that”, I’m not a first date sex kinda guy. The terrace had filled up with about 25 people at 10 or 12 tables around us. She now changed her expression and stood up and said in a loud voice “WHAT?? I am not good enough to GO TO BED WITH?!?!” Of course everyone turned to look at me, and I wanted to crawl under the table.

The waiter returned with the receipt, and while she ranted on, I quickly signed it and fled, with her still yelling behind me. Needless to say, I never returned to that restaurant for dates. Maybe it was the food or just the atmosphere, crazy huh?

OyVay…