Tag: one and done

He Danced Like A Flamingo

My worst date was with a guy who seemed rather strange, but at that time (I was under 20). I was willing to give a guy a chance regardless of what my gut instinct was telling me. So we meet at a place with live music and a few people are dancing. I love to dance, so I said, hey, let’s dance. Big mistake. He resembled a flamingo, arms outstretched and lifting each knee to hip level before flinging the lower leg forward, like some automated kicking motion. He just kind of pranced around like this, in a “rhythm” that had nothing to do with the music. So, I’m thinking, ok, he’s not much of a dancer, not a huge moral failing or anything like that–but when we sit down (I was quick to say I needed a drink, so we could get off the dance floor before he hurt someone), he goes on and on about how much he loves to dance and he’s so glad to meet a girl who loves to dance, and how we could go dancing each night. He was completely uninterested in anything I had to say, asked no questions, talked about himself nonstop, and kept trying to get me to commit to joining him for dancing for the next several nights.

I could not get out of there fast enough and was so glad I had–as always–driven myself to this first date. He stalked me for a while at work so I quit the job I had (near where he lived) and made sure not to go to that part of town again. Fortunately, he was not smart enough to find me again. I learned to listen to my gut after that!

Golden Shower

My first and only blind date was set up by a girlfriend of mine. She told me the guy was a nice, (read: not good looking) upcoming, young business man. After some coercion on her part, I agreed to call him. We arranged to meet at a lovely restaurant and the date went very well. I was really enjoying our conversation and he was a true gentleman so I accepted his offer to drive me home. As we got to my front door I asked him in so we could continue our discussion. However, I made it perfectly clear that it was not an invitation for sex. He seemed hurt that I would suggest such a thing, so I felt o.k. letting him in. Long story short, I switched from drinking wine to beer. We all know what that can do to a girl’s bladder. On my third trip to the restroom he said I should just hold it. I mentioned that I had indoor plumbing and would only be gone a few minutes. That’s when he suggested we get in my shower and I pee on him. Needless to say, I was speechless for a minute, but advised him I wasn’t into that sort of play and “my, look at how late it is.” As soon as he left I called my “friend” and asked her what the hell? She said, “Oh, did he mention that on the first date?” The skank KNEW. Nice guy or not, I wasn’t about to date him a second time and I put some distance between me and my friend.


My Vagina Is Far Away

My first date turned up looking waaaay better than his picture, really dapper in a nice suit. I was really impressed considering that he only had one picture that wasn’t too clear. On first impression he seemed charming enough. We met outside a tube station and then walked to a nice Japanese restaurant/ lounge and THEN he started speaking….

First of all most of the things he told me seemed to be lies and did not correspond with the things he had told me previously or wrote on his profile.

They were not big lies but small ones like how long he has been back in the UK after working away and where he lives etc. I didn’t question it because I didn’t particularly know him enough to care. He even lied about going to the place that we were at, 6 months before. Now why anyone would lie about that beats me, but the place we went to had barely been open a month and I knew that but again didn’t say anything, just probed a bit to get him deeper in the lie to confirm that it actually was his intention to out rightly lie.

So by this point I know I am not going to see him again but I am not having a bad time, the conversation is flowing, but then he starts telling me stories about his wild and extravagant youth, and most of these stories involve prostitutes. Why you would tell that to someone on a first date I do not know. At this point I order more sake because I am going to need it to get to the end of the date.

Next he makes a “so called joke” about staying in a hotel around the corner. It wasn’t a joke but after I gave him one dirty look he claimed that it was. Then comes the part about how he likes black girls because they can “handle him.” I’m a bit slow so I didn’t get it straight away and he goes onto explain that Asian and white girls are too petite for him. So now I am finding the conversation offensive and it progresses to how he always has sex with women by the second date because there is no point dating them if you don’t know how sexually compatible they are.

All this time I’m just listening. I just let him keep on digging. The part where I have had enough is where he puts his hand on my thigh. I remove it and tell him that I do not feel comfortable with it there and he puts it back twice more. On the third go, I say “What are you doing vaginal healing? Why is your hand hovering around my vagina? What is wrong with you?” He laughs and says that my vagina is far away, and I tell him that it is too close for my liking. By now the fact that he is getting physical and not taking no for an answer. I simply tell him, “I’m tired I need to leave.” We leave the place together and go our separate ways.

He sends a text about an hour later talking about meeting again. Uh no. Just recently (This date was about 6 months ago) he sent me a message on here as if I were someone new and I reminded him that we had already met and he got a little pissy like it was “my loss” I refused to go out again. YEAH WHATEVER!

3 Red Flags & The Pecker

So I’m new here.. Been lurking for a little while. Little background on me…

I’m recently out of an 11-month relationship. Why? If it’s any indicator, in the last 6 months we had sex once. We weren’t right for each other, and moved way too quickly in the beginning (moved in after about 6 weeks…). I never really had the chance to tell if he was the right person for me. There were some other issues, I got sick, and he pretty much blamed me. He didn’t really care about what I was going through, he just worried about how it was going to affect him. Anyway, that’s a long, boring story, and not worth it. I’m over it. Enough said.

So being newly on the market, one of my coworkers sets me up with a guy. We talk a little bit, and while the conversations are pretty decent, there are some red flags. We have fundamentally different beliefs politically, and as far as gender-roles go… He likes his women barefoot and in the kitchen, wants them to cook and do his laundry. I’m the bread-winner type.. I have a fantastic job, and do very well on my own. I’m smart, successful, driven, and independent.

First red flag… Before we had even gone out on our first date, he asked me to move in with him. More than once. What?!? No way dude.

Second red flag.. He later flips out over me wanting to drive myself to our first date. What, I don’t trust him enough to pick me up? I told him to stop pushing me and he let it go, but man was he mad about that.

Third red flag.. On the day we are supposed to go on our date, we were talking about furniture. When we discuss mattresses, he makes the comment that we’ll probably ‘be spending the night at each other’s place soon and regularly.

Ummm… That freaked me out, and I told him that was a bit presumptuous, and much too forward. His defense was, we are both adults, and we’re talking, which leads to dating, which leads to a relationship.. And that is was just a thought. Whatever. I told him I know how the process works, but that level of assumption is uncalled for.

I should have cancelled the date at that point, because he’s starting to freak me out. But I’m an idiot, and I try to be a nice person. I wanted to give him a shot.

We go out and the conversation was.. okay. There was nooooo chemistry on my part. He’s pushing my limits with the conversation, and I’m pretty much ready to go. He walks me to my car, and we hug. Then he goes in for the kiss.

And that was wayyyy too much wayyyy too fast. First he pecks, a lot, like a dozen times. I’m definitely not feeling it. I start pulling away and try getting into my car, and he pulls me into him and grabs my ass and pushes his tongue into my mouth. Oh, it was awful. Just awful.

I finally tear myself away and speed off. Now he’s calling, and he wants to go out tonight (dinner and a movie). I absolutely do NOT want to go out with this guy again. I wish I hadn’t gone out the first time at all!!

I KNOW all men aren’t like this.. But WTF kind of girl does he think I am??? I am thoroughly repulsed and pretty freaked out. Thankfully he does not know where I live.


The ‘Change?’

One guy, who couldn’t stop bringing his ex into the conversation, actually asked me how the ‘change’ was affecting me!…I looked at him, laughed, and asked if he was talking about what I thought he was…and yes, he was, lol. Since that hasn’t been an issue, that’s all I said…he then went on to talk about how his ex has been a raving lunatic during that time…needless to say, that was our one and only meeting, lol, more because of the ex talk than anything else.