I went on a first date the weekend before I met my wonderful husband with this guy to the movies. We had talked on the phone all week and he seemed like a really nice guy. Well…he kept trying to tickle me while we were watching the movie, and I kept telling him to stop, but he wouldn’t. It got to the point where I was sitting as far away from him as I possibly could, while still sitting in the seat next to him. I was thinking if he wouldn’t stop tickling me when I said no, what else might he try to do, even after I tell him no? Needless to say, I never went out with him again, and as I said, I met my husband the following weekend so that was the end of that!!
Went on a first date with a woman from POF (Plenty of Fish), about two years ago. Drove an hour and a half to meet her. We had talked via email, phone calls, texts for about two weeks before we decided to meet, and actually talked the morning of our first meeting, and confirmed our date, which gave her ample time to set me up for what I was in store for.
So I get to the restaurant, which wasn’t five stars, but wasn’t a dive either. Nice place for a first date, I had made reservations for two. I got there a little early, so was at the bar waiting for her to show up. So she shows up in tow with her two young daughters, a 3 yr old and an 16 month old, so there went the table for two, had to wait an hour to get another table that could accommodate two high chairs. And that isn’t even the best part, half way through dinner, she proceeds to start breast feeding the youngest right there in front of me at the table. Not that that big deal, nor did I really care, the only thing that got me is she wasn’t planning on getting a sitter, she could of told me and I would have picked a more appropriate place to meet. Oh well, live and learn.
Well, I have a worst pre-dating experience to add to this — one that just happened today. I had been talking with this man who contacted me, he was 3 years younger than me. After a couple of emails back and forth, we progressed to chatting on the phone. He seemed nice enough…and we agreed to touch base later in the week as to where we were going to meet. He was so set on meeting in an area near the Marina Del Rey, he wanted to try out this one restaurant, and insisted we go there. He said that if we couldn’t, then we could meet in Santa Monica, as he wanted to watch the sun set — he hadn’t been able to do much of that. It was always what he wanted to do.
He only suggested possibly meeting in Marina Del Rey after I stopped responding to his texts. To me, when someone is so insistent on meeting in an area, or offers up ideas, and is unwilling to listen to what you might have to suggest, that’s a red flag. It shows that they have no respect for you as a person, nor for your ideas/opinions/feelings.
Anyhow, after thinking about this, I just was not into meeting him any longer…I told him in a text (We were texting back and forth, discussing where to meet, or rather, he was telling me where he wanted to meet) that I didn’t feel comfortable with how things went when discussing where to meet, and that I’d have to decline meeting. I told him it was nice getting to know him. He then sent 5-6 texts basically saying things of a derogatory nature regarding my age, “Your as old as ‘f—‘, I was going to cancel anyway — I was just trying to see if you would budge — your only a couple years away from 40 — you better learn to give a little”.
Some people just can’t take rejection. Notice I misused “your” when I should have used “you’re”. That’s exactly how he phrased those texts. I wasn’t upset about it — his texts made me laugh. He’s only 3 years younger, he’s calling himself old. It’s no mystery why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He has no clue how to treat women.
I just have to tell my bad date story…
I had been talking to this lawyer that lived about 3 hours away from me…
Saw his photo and he was very nice looking…we talked nightly and had some good conversations…
One day he called and said that he had to go thru my town going to take a deposition in a town a couple of hours away. He suggested that he come down as far as my town and we meet, go out, and then I could go with him the next day and then he would reverse the route.
When I opened the door to the motel this is what I saw.
A very large man with the worst toupee on that I had ever seen. He was wearing silk basketball shorts, a white long sleeved starched shirt, socks with colored stripes at the top pulled up to his knees and black dress shoes.
Now I think of myself a decent person and will be nice to everyone. I was nice and we went across the street to eat dinner… all thru dinner I was trying to think of an excuse not to go with him the next day. He looked at me and said “what’s the matter, you look like you have a bad headache” ding!!! I responded that I did and needed to go home…
After tossing all night, I finally got the nerve to call him at the motel and when I did the desk clerk told me that he had checked out about an hour earlier…
Bless his heart, I guess this wasn’t the first time he had been dumped!
OMG the one time I actually met someone off the net. We talked for months.. OMG he had some great pictures.. Very handsome and sexy. We had great phone conversations. Meet him and it was NOT him in the pictures.. OMG I flipped out. Come to find out, it was his brother in those pictures.. I am sorry I am not at all stuck on looks, but you lie to me and that is it. We could have had something if he had been honest with me cause we meshed really well so far… But he had to LIE!!!!!!!!!!!
-Fallen Angel Eyes
I am having some ethical dilemmas here. And I don’t know if I should be… I recently went out with a guy for our first date. He picked a really nice (and expensive) steak house. He offered to pay. All was fine. We had four or five phone conversations and we got along fine.
Then we met for our first date and BLAM! Within the first minute, I was 100% sure there was no spark. Instead of backing out, cause this restaurant was his favorite and he mentioned he was happy to just get out of the house, I went through with the date. I had a good time. He was funny and nice. And I felt like I should have paid for my half because there was no connection.
Is this something guys would appreciate women doing…if we are not into you, we offer to pay for our half of the meal? I’m pretty old fashioned, and if I liked the guy, his paying for the first date is nice. But, I felt really bad cause I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.
Don’t slam me…I’m just trying to find the higher ground here. What do you guys think?
Recently I met up with a girl from POF (Plenty Of Fish). We had decent email communications and one phone conversation before getting together one afternoon for lunch.
At lunch, again, conversation felt as if it flowed naturally. I was doing most of the talking, but she held her end of a talking point pretty effortlessly. Fast forward to the end of our meet and as we were saying our goodbyes there was a small moment of silence, at which point she verbally expressed her discomfort of it. I simply smiled.
She asked me what that smile meant and I remember thinking to myself that it doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes a smile is just a smile. Anyway, we had a short phone conversation last night, and again another silence comes up, and again she verbally calls out her “discomfort” of it. Makes me curious…
Does anyone here, when interacting socially with a new person, find an awkward discomfort in a conversational break? Personally speaking, I find that in such situations I sometimes sit back and see where it takes us. I also like to see if the girl I’m with can pick up the ball and get back in the game.
Anyway, I think most people think there is a type of negativity involved in those little moments of tranquility…as if it screams “OH NO, I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, I MUST BE UNINTERESTING!”
I’d like to hear other’s thoughts on this.
Met a woman online, emailed and chatted on the phone, set up a dinner date. We met, sat out on the terrace and had a great dinner and conversation. As we finished coffee the waiter came and took the check. As he left, she smiled and leaned over the table and said “my place or yours?” I was kinda like a deer in the headlights. Stupidly I said “Gee I thought we’d get to know each other better before we got to that”, I’m not a first date sex kinda guy. The terrace had filled up with about 25 people at 10 or 12 tables around us. She now changed her expression and stood up and said in a loud voice “WHAT?? I am not good enough to GO TO BED WITH?!?!” Of course everyone turned to look at me, and I wanted to crawl under the table.
The waiter returned with the receipt, and while she ranted on, I quickly signed it and fled, with her still yelling behind me. Needless to say, I never returned to that restaurant for dates. Maybe it was the food or just the atmosphere, crazy huh?