Tag: she crazy

Too Much Saliva

One guy I went out with (twice, shame on me) had so much slobber that when he pulled away from me (I may have been pushing, lol) there was a string of thick saliva strung between our faces like a Christmas tree garland. Trying to be gracious, I just pulled back enough to break it and pretended like it didn’t happen. The next kiss was the same, but he didn’t seem to know it was a problem. How can you not know that? That’s the part I don’t get, is how can some people be such awful kissers and not know it. Now, I am not too fussy about such things; I even let me dog kiss me. Sometimes when we’ve been playing and he’s excited, he accidentally bites my lip a little bit, but I’d still keep the dog kisses and say goodbye to Saliva Man. Eeeeewwwwwwwww!

shinyhappyperson

Minnie Mouse Suspenders

I chatted with a woman online a few years back. She had no picture but a great profile & essay. Her emails were so elegant & poetic & always ended with the phrase “take a chance”. I was intrigued & so I did.

Well Walt Disney’s biggest fan showed up. Micky Mouse light up sneakers, Goofy jacket, Donald Duck baseball cap, light up Minnie Mouse suspenders & a Pluto sweatshirt. She told me she was great at telling jokes too & had a long list of them printed out.

I sensed she had a few screws loose but politely stayed & chatted over lunch & told her I didn’t feel any chemistry before leaving. Thankfully she was accepting of it. I don’t meet women sight unseen anymore because of this.