Tag: shocked reaction

Very Wet Kiss

The guy begins licking me like a St. Bernard, my ears my neck, asks if I like it, and I say no. His hands are like an octopus and I begin to feel violated. Kisses me with lips inside out, not with the normal suction but with turning the inside of his lips to grab mine so they are curved outward so I feel all this slobber, not to mention the breath was horrible so the spit froze on my face after it dried and it was smelly! Then he sticks his tongue in my ear canal! Then he opens his mouth and sticks his whole tongue inside and all I can smell is that funky spit and it was so wet I had to wipe under my lips. Gracefully I moved away and took a detour to the restroom where I washed my face, neck and ears with soap and the inside of my mouth with soap, scrubbing my tongue.

Put It On His Tongue

It wasn’t a POF (Plenty Of Fish) date but it was my first date after breaking up with my fiance. Had only met him once, briefly. He was OK but I didn’t think there were any sparks. A mutual friend of ours insisted we should go out.

So we went to this nice quiet restaurant and I was really trying to get into him … had been broken up with my ex for nearly a year and was thinking the problem was me, that I compared everyone to my ex, etc. And he seemed like he was pretty into me. I was thinking maybe, yeah, maybe there could be something there …

But then he kept rolling and picking at his eyes. He said his contact lenses were dried out. One of my quirks is that I’m extremely squeamish and one of the body parts I’m MOST squeamish about are eyes. And he looked like a weirdo rolling his eyes and picking at them. But I told myself I was being too judgmental.

Then he dug one finger into his left eye and started moving the contact lens around on it. I’m thinking, “Even if I didn’t have a thing about eyes, this would probably qualify as a really uncouth thing to do at the dinner table.” I’m also thinking “If he doesn’t stop this and/or I don’t stop watching, I’m going to faint.” Because I faint easily when things freak me out.

Before I could resolve this conflict, he pulled/dragged/dug the contact lens out of his eye, put it on his tongue … and then started to put it back in his very bloodshot eye. This was apparently too much for me. I fell out of my chair in a dead faint.

Alarmed by the sight of me twitching unconscious on the floor, he apparently dropped and managed to lose his contact lens.

We never saw each other again. He told our mutual friend that he couldn’t imagine dating someone who fainted so easily.

WIN!

Breast Feeding

Went on a first date with a woman from POF (Plenty of Fish), about two years ago. Drove an hour and a half to meet her. We had talked via email, phone calls, texts for about two weeks before we decided to meet, and actually talked the morning of our first meeting, and confirmed our date, which gave her ample time to set me up for what I was in store for.

So I get to the restaurant, which wasn’t five stars, but wasn’t a dive either. Nice place for a first date, I had made reservations for two. I got there a little early, so was at the bar waiting for her to show up. So she shows up in tow with her two young daughters, a 3 yr old and an 16 month old, so there went the table for two, had to wait an hour to get another table that could accommodate two high chairs. And that isn’t even the best part, half way through dinner, she proceeds to start breast feeding the youngest right there in front of me at the table. Not that that big deal, nor did I really care, the only thing that got me is she wasn’t planning on getting a sitter, she could of told me and I would have picked a more appropriate place to meet. Oh well, live and learn.

Baby Throws Up On Me

Here’s a nightmare of a date…

Was talking to a girl from POF (Plenty Of Fish) for a little while, went on one date and it went good so we decided to go on another. I opted to pick her up this time. I get to her house and she comes out with a little baby, hops in the front seat with the kid and says lets go! I’m like, you need to put that kid in a car seat right? (which she never mentioned she had a child and I don’t have any so obviously I have no car seat).

She says, oh, “I wasn’t sure how you would feel about a car seat in your car.” I’m just thinking, well, at least you have some consideration… She hands me her kid, runs into the house, the baby THROWS UP on me! She comes back saying the car seat was with the baby’s dad. I had no idea what to say at this point. Told her I need to change and I’ll come back and never looked back…

Good times…

He’s Wearing My Dress?

A few years ago I met a man online that seemed like quite the catch. Beautiful voice, we had a nice dinner and made plans for the following weekend.

After dinner, we went back to his place…Very flirty, very attractive man, with that wonderful Virginia silk voice.

He makes us a drink and some snacks and I took off my dress and got into the hot tub with panties on, figuring he would join me..

Well, a few minutes later, he comes sashaying out and parades around the hot tub…WEARING MY DRESS! I’m 5’4, he was 6’4, so needless to say, there were things showing (for some reason, he was naked under MY DRESS), that I wasn’t comfortable seeing, sticking out of the bottom of my dress.

I got out of the hot tub and told him to take off my dress. He did, and followed me bare assed naked out the front door apologizing.

I just could not see me going out with a guy that looks better in my clothes than I do!

Three Women Waving

I’d been chatting online for a little while to this lady and I spoke to her on the phone once too. She sounded ok, but was a bit unsure about all this. She told me she had never done any online dating before, so she was understandably feeling quite nervous.

Anyway we arranged to meet up at this pub and she had asked me to text her once I had arrived. I did as she asked and within a few moments she came to the door as she was already inside the pub.

Whilst we were talking I asked her how she got here and she said she was given a lift by some friends of hers. I asked her “so your friends dropped you off then?” She replied “no, they’re sitting over there!” I turned round and looked to see three women sitting at a table in the far corner of the bar waving at me!

My date told me to just ignore her friends, but it didn’t stop me feeling like a nervous wreck lol. The conversation between us began to dry up after that. My date suddenly then started showing signs of being in pain. She told me she was feeling unwell and needed to visit the facilities. She was in there for what seemed a very long time before she came out again. When she finally did she told me she was really sorry, but she needed to go home as she was feeling so ill. She told me she felt bad as I had traveled all the way out to this pub to meet her only for her to suddenly have to go like this. I said “no worries, it’s one of those things and sorry she was not feeling well”. I went on my way leaving my date at the pub with her friends, so whether she did actually go home at that point remained a mystery.

So a very short and “unusual” date lol!:-)

Leopard Print Bedspread

Went out with my mom’s co-worker (he was a contracted employee who would come out to her work site every so often and always complimented the pic of me on her desk)… He suggested getting together at a local coffee shop, something simple. The man was already there when I arrived, but had been up to the counter and gotten his drink, and as I intro’d myself he said, “Hey are you going to get yourself coffee or what?” …so I bought my own damn house blend, and sat down to hear him talk about how he had just been to see his dad, and how hard it had been since moving out of his parents’ house (he was 28!!) then immediately BEGAN CRYING HEAVILY, and after about 10 minutes of trying to figure out whether I was being punk’d, I suggested that maybe we should take a walk — to the parking lot, so I could leave. He tried, last minute, to convince me to go home with him for “company” so I could see his LEOPARD PRINT bedspread and his REALISTIC SUIT OF ARMOR (oh, my goodness). I had to take a pass on that one. He began crying again, and shouted out loud at me, in the middle of the parking lot “WHYYYYY won’t you go home with MEEEE?” Holy crap. I got in the car, drove home, and called my mother— who laughed her butt off. She told me he kept asking about me for months afterward. Freaky.

Golden Shower

My first and only blind date was set up by a girlfriend of mine. She told me the guy was a nice, (read: not good looking) upcoming, young business man. After some coercion on her part, I agreed to call him. We arranged to meet at a lovely restaurant and the date went very well. I was really enjoying our conversation and he was a true gentleman so I accepted his offer to drive me home. As we got to my front door I asked him in so we could continue our discussion. However, I made it perfectly clear that it was not an invitation for sex. He seemed hurt that I would suggest such a thing, so I felt o.k. letting him in. Long story short, I switched from drinking wine to beer. We all know what that can do to a girl’s bladder. On my third trip to the restroom he said I should just hold it. I mentioned that I had indoor plumbing and would only be gone a few minutes. That’s when he suggested we get in my shower and I pee on him. Needless to say, I was speechless for a minute, but advised him I wasn’t into that sort of play and “my, look at how late it is.” As soon as he left I called my “friend” and asked her what the hell? She said, “Oh, did he mention that on the first date?” The skank KNEW. Nice guy or not, I wasn’t about to date him a second time and I put some distance between me and my friend.

-Tee

It Was Self Defense

We met at a bar, he was supposed to be 5ft9 but was more like 5ft2, which was a little disappointing… Anyway, after about 15 minutes into the date, he tells me a story of how he stabbed a few people in a scared rage about ten years ago, (apparently it was either do or die). Then as we were on our way to the next bar, (my train wasn’t for another hour) it started raining real bad and he lent me his cagoule he had in his bag. It smelt fusty like it had been hiding in a shed for ten years and I about puked. Totally ruined my look as I was in a pretty dress and high heels but he did insist…(I was hoping it was a stab proof cagoule at this point). Anyway he walked me to the train station and asked me if any guy had ever told me I had a big nose and started laughing. I said no, got on the train pronto and breathed a huge sigh of relief!! It’s not your typical funny date, but it was so surreal I had to laugh…

missthang72

The Vest

I had a first date with this guy. I myself, showered, blow dried my hair, make-up, high heels, nice, clean pressed dress – very smart. Met my date in a pub. He was wearing dirty old jeans – scruffy black boots and wait for it – A VEST! (with his dinner dribbled down the front of it) I left very quickly. He e-mailed me later and said he didn’t understand how I knew we were not suitable?