Tag: waiter

Community Theater

Well, it wasn’t so much a “date” as a casual meet over lunch to continue a conversation we had started.

I was putting in some volunteer time at the local community theater helping repair a piece of scenery that had fallen over during the previous night’s production. An attractive woman who was also there doing the same thing began chatting with me about productions she had been involved with, and asking me about my own experiences with the theater, and various other interests, and she invited me to a local restaurant to continue with the conversation when we were done with the repair work.

I said that sounded very nice, but I was broke until my next paycheck, and had absolutely no cash on me. She said that would not be a problem, that this time would be her treat, and that I could pay “some other time”.

We went in her car to the restaurant (I had walked to the theater as I live only a couple blocks from it) and placed our orders and chatted until the waiter arrived with the food, at which time she jumped up and said “Oh, shit! I left my purse in the car…I’ll be right back.” I offered to get it for her, and she just said “no, sit…I’ll be back in a sec.” She then grabbed her jacket and ran out.

The waiter, still standing next to the table, and I, still sitting, watched in a kind of dumbfounded silence through the window as she ran out to her car, got in, and drove away. I looked at him, he looked at me, and we both said something like “Ummm….” at the same time. He looked a little panicked…I probably did too. I did have the presence of mind to suggest we go talk with the manager, because I knew if a customer ran without paying, the waiter was stuck with the bill, and the poor guy had done nothing wrong, so I didn’t want him stuck with it. I didn’t want to be stuck with it either, as far as that goes, but I hoped the manager would be willing to let us both off the hook, so to speak.

The manager turned out to be a decent sort, at that. I explained the situation, stressed that it was neither my fault nor the waiter’s, and she thought about it for a moment and then said something along the lines of “Aw, don’t worry about it…just go.”

I went… I walked three miles back home, fuming all the way, and remembered she had said she was going to be back at the theater that evening for the production, and that crew call was an hour before the show was due to start.

So, I went back to the theater an hour before showtime, noticed her car in the parking lot, and went backstage, and there she was. I went up to her and demanded to know what had happened at the restaurant.

She looked at me and her jaw dropped…she’d obviously forgotten she’d told me she was going to be back at the theater, or she hadn’t thought I would show up. She did say “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

One of the guys on the theater crew came up to her and said “What’s going on, sweetie? Who’s this guy?” She said, “I have no idea”. I asked him, “Are you her boyfriend?” He said, Yeah, what’s the problem?” I said, “No problem”….and I left, shooting her a look that made her shrivel a little on my way out the door.

I’m still fuming….no, not fuming…idly entertaining ideas about becoming a hermit….which, in all fairness, won’t happen either…but…sheesh.


I Talk, You Text

Worst least in recent memory was one I met from here. Met at a pub that was her idea but worked for me because they have a lot of things to do there besides drinking.

1. Said hardly anything no matter how I tried to start conversations

2. Proceeded to get in an argument with the waiter because she ordered something they didn’t make anymore. Regardless she was insistent they make it because clearly they must still have the ingredients for it.

3. Got in an argument with a couple next to us because she mistakenly thought the lady knocked her purse on the floor. Instead of apologizing when she realized it wasn’t her purse her response was, “Oh, well I was gonna say. If it was my purse you and I were going to have a problem.”

4. Proceeded to text to whomever throughout the date on her phone.

5. Finally opened up and started conversing towards the end to fill me in on the history of her entire relationship with her ex

…and so on.

I almost fell out of my chair when we went to leave because she wanted to set up a second date. I was going to politely decline but I was so taken aback that she somehow enjoyed herself on this fiasco that I was taken by surprise and apparently my facial expression and that I accidentally let, “Really???”, slip that the message apparently got through.


A Steak Dinner To Remember

Met a woman online and we got along great. Flowing conversation, both athletic, similar interests. Everything seemed on the up-and-up. Our first date was walking dogs in the park near her home.

She stated “she hadn’t had a nice steak dinner in YEARS…” so I jumped on the opportunity. We resided about 20 miles apart, so we agreed to rendezvous about halfway for each of us. This date ultimately suggested Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse which is pretty darn (gulp) expensive spot.

This woman ordered wine, appetizers, main course, dessert, the whole deal. She was engaging, smart, sweet, and had a truly electric personality. Wow, what a conversationalist. I got the bill (nearly $225.00) and she didn’t even motion going towards her wallet. Plunked down my credit card and took my lumps. Hey, that’s the price of romance, right?

As we were preparing to depart, a waiter comes running up to us and says to her: “…Hey, remember me? I am Alex. I was your server last week!…”

She became flustered and muttered something like:
“Umm, sorry, I don’t know you.”

Alex then replied:
“It’s me, remember? You ordered Filet Mignon butterflied with extra butter and pepper?”

He had her totally dead-to-rights and she was clearly busted. We walked outside and she said to me, “Does this mean we won’t see each other again?” I glared at her and huffed, “Is scamming expensive meals worth THIS much effort in your life?”

Now that I think of it, that guy “Alex” might have been trying to do me a favor, after all.


Terror on the Terrace

Met a woman online, emailed and chatted on the phone, set up a dinner date. We met, sat out on the terrace and had a great dinner and conversation. As we finished coffee the waiter came and took the check. As he left, she smiled and leaned over the table and said “my place or yours?” I was kinda like a deer in the headlights. Stupidly I said “Gee I thought we’d get to know each other better before we got to that”, I’m not a first date sex kinda guy. The terrace had filled up with about 25 people at 10 or 12 tables around us. She now changed her expression and stood up and said in a loud voice “WHAT?? I am not good enough to GO TO BED WITH?!?!” Of course everyone turned to look at me, and I wanted to crawl under the table.

The waiter returned with the receipt, and while she ranted on, I quickly signed it and fled, with her still yelling behind me. Needless to say, I never returned to that restaurant for dates. Maybe it was the food or just the atmosphere, crazy huh?